What Is Going Wrong?

I can’t help feeling that this place, country, world is going mad, bad, sad and all that that suggests. I look at the news and see misery on all levels, greed on many levels and mistrust and paranoia all over the place. Whatever happened to the dream? I am sure that when I was a child there was going to be a bright future and prosperity for all, a general improvement in conditions, of life, of technology and a brave new world.

But that was before I had read Aldous Huxley’s “Brave New World”, or George Orwell’s “Animal Farm” or “1984″, and I had no thoughts of alternative agendas and the possibility that we were all living an illusion fed to us and nourished by an other race of beings who had plans that we were not part of, other than being the cattle and sheep to be used in the manufacture of their paradise. By other race I do not mean “aliens” in the sense of extra-terrestrial entities – although I have come to the point where I have actually considered that as a possibility – but I mean a class of people who languish above the relatively lesser classes and poverty levels, controlling the distribution of wealth, controlling the availability of information and controlling the food and materials supplies.

How has this become the state that we find ourselves in today? When did the takeover take place? Is it possible to make a change back to a society that works for the good of all rather than the few? What would we have to do to make that change? Is it enough to make individual efforts to reduce waste and energy usage? Is it enough to follow generally accepted norms of behaviour in an attempt to bring about the change or do we need to have some kind of revolution? It would seem that the governments of all nations are gearing up to defend themselves against their own citizens by arming their police forces, changing laws to allow for easier control, encouraging a sense of self-policing and intolerance amongst society, spreading propaganda to get their message accepted and normalised, and bombarding the populace with placebo entertainment with the apparent aim of diverting attention away from the change to and erosion of everyone’s civil liberties.

I begin to despair of this but I realise that that may be what I am supposed to do. It could be that all these things are designed to induce a state of depression and thereby induce subservience in people, if not, ultimately, suicide. So, if that is the case and me being the type of person who is considered a bit rebellious, I am damned if that is going to happen to me! I will try to remain afloat in this sea of despair and find a way to create something out of what I have in order to retain my sanity and afford myself some comfort and security. I will continue to do what I believe is right and try to be community minded in the face of the adversity that surrounds us. I will strive to be the change I wish to see – to somewhat misquote Ghandi – and in my own way be the Utopian I would have the world and its people become.

Maybe by the time I have been writing these things for a while I will be able to get my thoughts into some sort of order and hopefully answer some of the questions I posed above. I will try to stick to this and chronicle some of my steps along the way. I may write a bit about what I am and what I am capable of in order to better understand myself and get a better idea of what I am as a whole when looked at from the outside. Lately it seems as if I am being misunderstood by people who are taking offence at what I do or say, are becoming scared of me because of my size or the expression on my face. It is so hard to ‘look’ nice – I am smiling on the inside honestly even if it looks like a scowl. All I want to do is to be able to discuss the situation with people rather than just accepting it, but that seems to be something that one is forbidden to do – one must just accept what one is told and say nothing apparently? I am not that kind of person unfortunately for those who would control me. I had a physics teacher once who encouraged us to question everything, and I am afraid I took that to heart as I was already that type of person and his advice gave me license to be me.

© Richard Holt 2014

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